Work Stress and Sleep Disruption: Because Apparently Your Job Needed a Night Shift Too

In this engaging episode, Cheryl Paris delves into the intricate relationship between work stress and sleep disruption, shedding light on the all-too-familiar struggle of high-functioning individuals, particularly women, who find themselves mentally active while their bodies yearn for rest. 

She candidly discusses how the pressures of daily life can invade our sleep, often turning our beds into battlegrounds for racing thoughts and lingering anxieties. Cheryl emphasises that sleep should not be viewed as a luxury, but rather as an essential component of our recovery infrastructure, vital for emotional regulation and mental clarity.

Throughout the episode, listeners are encouraged to recognise the patterns that lead to sleepless nights and are introduced to a practical four-part reset technique designed to help reclaim their nights.

 Cheryl's insights highlight the importance of acknowledging the reality of our stressors, rather than simply trying to 'switch off' at the end of a long day. By learning to 'refuse the night shift', you can create a sanctuary in your bed that nurtures recovery instead of perpetuating stress.

Join Cheryl for this empowering conversation that equips you with tools to navigate work-related stress and reclaim your sleep, so you wake up refreshed and ready to thrive. Remember, every small step you take towards better sleep is a step towards a more balanced and fulfilling life.

The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers

Transcript

Speaker 0: 0:22

Welcome to Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW. I'm Cheryl Paris and today we are talking about Work Stress and Sleep Disruption. Yes, I know. Yes, or as I like to call it the deeply insulting experience of being exhausted all day, desperate for your bed, convinced that sleep is about to arrive only for your brain to turn up at

02: 0:58

03AM with a clipboard demanding useful stuff and not a useful clipboard, not a clipboard with snacks and answers and a practical plan, a clipboard often of nonsense. Nonsense. It kind of says before we rest shall we revisit that meeting or the tone of voice that you use to that subordinate. The possibility that everyone secretly thinks that you are no longer coping. Coping. Lovely, lovely stuff very very restful very much the reason people should not be allowed to say just switch off unless they are willing to personally come around and switch the brain off at the wall. Because the way I say it, most of us high functioning people, especially us women, know this pattern. You hold it together all day, you answer the messages, you attend the meetings, you do the thing, you smile at the appropriate time, then you get into bed and suddenly your body is exhausted but your mind is behaving like as if you've accepted another shift. And that is what we're talking about today. Not sleep as this perfect pastel wellness brochure way, No. The kind of Sleep Advice that assumes that you have 2 perfect silent hours, no children, no work pressures, no hormones, no pain, no caring responsibilities, and a Nervous System made like Superman. I am talking about real sleep here, the kind that gets disrespected by constant availability, phone pings, emails arriving, WhatsApp messages, you know, the urgent but not urgent requests. Yes, it's not that. It's a Nervous System. It's almost like your Nervous System is trying to mug you with notifications. And I just want to say this clearly from the start, because you're probably thinking, what is she talking about? I see sleep as not a treat. Sleep is not what you get once everyone else is finished with you. Sleep is for your infrastructure, for that Recovery Infrastructure. It's 1 of the to me, sleep is 1 of the deepest, deepest acts of self respect available to you. So today, we're going to talk about why Work Stress affects sleep so badly, why your brain gets louder at night, why lying down is not the same as recovering, and just 1 simple calm reset that you can use when the bed starts feeling a bit like the boardroom because as you know, it's calm 1st, reality 1st, then change. Okay. Now, I'm being really honest here, I love my bed. I remember when we 1st moved in, I went to John Lewis, I got the nicest sheets, the most expensive duvet. I mean, I really spent a lot of money on my bed because, don't get me wrong, I like all the nice bedding and matching cushions and all the rest of it, But I mean, my bed is 1 of my most favorite places because I have learned through my own experience and seen other people, sleep changes everything. When I have had enough sleep, I operate at a completely different level. My thinking is clearer, my tolerance is better, my humor returns from wherever it was sulking, my body feels like it has been assembled to take anything on, but when sleep deprivation is going on, stuff happens. That's all I'll say. And by stuff, I mean the kind of stuff where your Emotional Regulation drops, my patience leaves the building, My memory starts behaving like damp Post it notes, and ordinary problems just suddenly just seem, oh, Kate in stuff. The thing is, I don't care who you are, don't care what you are specialists in, sleep matters. There is a reason for that old saying about sleep. Go to bed on it, sleep on it, see how you feel in the morning. There's a reason for that old saying. That saying exists because human beings, unfortunately, have known for a very long time that night brain is not always the best decision maker.

You know, at 02: 6:46

03AM, your mind can make wildly awkward decisions, things that could be career ending actually, but by

09: 6:58

30, after some actual sleep, you might look at the same thing, you know, the same email and think, Right, that was annoying. I'll reply after I've had my coffee. Same problem, but a completely different Nervous System state. That is the bit we forget, right? The problem doesn't always change overnight, but your capacity can. Your perception does, and your ability to reason is much more in tune with you. Your ability to choose the next best step matters after you've had sleep, which is why I get very protective about sleep. I get very protective about my sleep. I do. Sleep cannot be endlessly disrespected without consequences. The thing is, your body notices, your brain notices, and your Nervous System notices. And the thing that I find really puzzling is that modern life is very good at stealing the edges of sleep. You know, a ping here, you know, a late email there, a quick stroll that turns into 45 minutes of digital nonsense, A work

message that lands at 09: 8:31

45PM and suddenly your whole system is back in the office. And then people wonder why we can't rest, like it's some sort of mystery of the century. This is where I think so many High Functioning Women quietly suffer, really quietly, because from the outside, you may look fine. You're still there working, you're still there delivering, you know, you may still be remembering people's birthdays and dental appointments and school forms that need filling in, and you may even still remember your password, you know? You may still be the person other people rely on, which is lovely, but isn't it exhausting? And then bedtime arrives and you lie there and your body is pleading for sleep, but your mind is doing something else. It's replaying that meeting, replaying that email, it replays what you said, what they said, what you should have said, and whether your manager now thinks you are secretly useless or not, the mental courtroom has opened and you're the defendant, but you're also the prosecutor and the judge. Oh, by the way, you're also the witness. And you are that exhausted legal intern trying to find the documents, And guess what? There's no biscuits. This is not problem solving. This is threat rehearsal, and threat rehearsal is very persuasive at night. You know, it can sound like if they don't notice, then I'm not coping. Or it can be, what if I've made a mistake on that document that needs to be handed in to the director tomorrow? That does not mean you're weak. It doesn't mean that you're being dramatic. It doesn't mean that you are bad at relaxing. It just means your Nervous System is still activated, your workday hasn't ended. Wouldn't it be lovely if our Nervous System respected our time

clock, you know, and politely at 05: 11:06

30, you know, just decide, that's it, that's enough, that's enough scanning for today, you're okay, you're okay to leave. Sadly, no. If work has kept you bracing all day, you know, unexpected expectations, conflict, sometimes impossible demands, some fear based leadership, who knows? Your system may be scanning long after your laptop is closed. Your body is tired, but your brain is still on the payroll. And that is why simply lying down doesn't always feel restorative. You can physically be still and internally it's almost like you're still sprinting. So let's bring some reality into this because I think sleep is not just nice. Sleep is part of your Recovery Infrastructure. Supports The thing is, okay, let me just say this, none of this is new to you. I know that. But sometimes, the way that I see it, knowledge is not enough. Have to remind yourself of what's important. Sleep is so important to recovery because it supports emotional regularity, it helps your mind and memory rest, it really turbocharges your perceptions, your patience, your decision making, and your ability to not take every tiny thing personally. Very useful, would recommend it. When sleep disrupts sleep sorry, when Work Stress, sorry, disrupts your sleep, the loop can become very vicious very quickly. Work sleep keeps your system active, activation disrupts your sleep, poor sleep increases your Mental Fatigue. Mental Fatigue makes work feel harder. Work feel harder, so you so stress increases. Stress increases, so sleep becomes even more fragile, around and around it goes, like some sort of emotional tumble dryer. And this is where self blame starts creeping in because you start thinking, know, I should be able to cope with all this. I should be better at this. No, no, no, no, no. Let's not turn sleep into another exam. You are failing because nothing says deep sleep like lying awake, judging yourself, or not relaxing correctly. The aim is not to bully yourself into sleep, the aim is to help your system feel so safe safe enough to shift from alert into recovery, and that that is different. And this is why generic relaxation advice, I think, is so irritating, the stuff that says, Just relax. Clear your mind. Let it go. Thank you very much. That's revolutionary, isn't it? No, no, no. The problem is that your Nervous System is trying to process fear, pressure, responsibility, maybe that anger that you've been holding onto, exhaustion, or something else that's unresolved. Some part of you may still be saying, No, something is happening here, please don't ask me to float above it, help me understand it. Sleep is 1 of the reasons why I created the ABGW method because I wanted to start with acknowledgement, not denial, not some false positivity, oh, I can't stand. It's like chalk on a blackboard, Not pretending everything is fine when your Nervous System is sitting in the corner with a siren. No. Acknowledgment. This is happening. My body is activated. My mind is trying to protect me. I'm in bed, it's night, I do not need to resolve this work problem right now. Some people call that fluff. I call it fluffy. To me, it's about functionality. It's about calm 1st, calming the system down 1st, accepting reality 1st, and then change. Calm doesn't mean everything's okay. Calm doesn't mean that workplace pressures is acceptable. Calm doesn't mean that you stay silent. Calm means you give yourself a better chance of seeing reality clearly and choosing your next step from steadiness, from that place, not from panic. So here is a microstep for tonight that you might want to try. I call it refuse refuse the night shift. Refuse the night shift.

No need to sit up at 02: 16:57

03 and declare revolution under the duvet. Just calmly, your brain starts dragging work into bed, use this 4 part reset. Step 1, reality contact. Step 2, 5 long exhales. Step 3, park 1 thought. Step 4, refuse the night shift. So step 1, quietly say to yourself, I am in bed. It is night. This can wait. Now this sentence matters. It may seem very simple, but just that sentence is reminding your system that you're not in a meeting, that you're not in tomorrow, you are in bed, and your job now is recovery. Step 2, 5 long exhales. 5 long, slow, deep inhales, and exhale is slightly longer than the inhale. That's all, 5 long exhales.

Let the breath out be the main event. Step 3: 18:24

cock 1 thought. If 1 thought keeps circling, write it down. Have a notebook, notepad and pen by your bed and just write it down. Just 1 sentence, just 1 line, just 1 thought. Doing this tells your brain, Do you know what? It's been recorded. You don't need to worry about that now. And then step 4, refuse the night shift. Just say to yourself, This is a tomorrow problem. My job now is recovery, and your job is to help me. That's it. Because sleep is not avoidance, sleep is repair, and repair is not optional forever. Your body does eventually send you the invoices. Now, you know me, I love the useful distinction here between relief and restoration. Relief is the moment the noise turns down a little, and restoration is where your system gets enough repeated safety, rest, and recovery to rebuild your capacity. So a quick reset may not solve the whole issue, and that's fine. It just interrupts the loop, and interrupting the loop is what matters, because when Work Stress has been stealing your sleep, you do not need another impossible routine, you don't. You need a small, useful doorway back into Calm. 1 breath, nice and slow, 1 sentence, 1 parked thought, 1 boundary around the night shift. That is how recovery starts becoming possible again. So your bed is not the boardroom. You should make sure treat your bed as a sanctuary. Make it feel like it's a place where you can truly relax. The duvet is not a strategic planning board. Your brain doesn't need to run a night shift just because Work Stress left the lights on. If Work Stress and Sleep Disruption are part of your life right now, just remember your system may be overloaded, under supported. The answer is not to feel shame about it, the answer begins with acknowledgement. This is happening, it makes sense, my body is trying to protect me, and remember, calm 1st, reality 1st, then change. Now, if this episode helped you in any way, even the littlest tiny way, please follow the podcast. The link is in the show notes. That way, the next Calm 1st episode is easy for you to find when your brain decides to open another tab. Now remember, I am Cheryl Paris, and this has been Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW. And remember, this podcast offers general well-being advice and reflective support. It's not meant to replace any kind of advice. If your Sleep Disruption is severe, know, or persistent, or it's linked with pain, trauma or medication anything like that please seek appropriate professional support. Your sleep matters, your recovery matters which is why every step you take no matter how small step towards a brighter more balanced future. Trust in your journey and remember progress is progress no matter the pace. I'll see you next time bye for now!