Work Anxiety and Overthinking at Night: Why Your Brain Keeps Doing the 2:03 a.m. Night Shift

In this insightful episode, Cheryl addresses the all-too-familiar struggle of work anxiety and the relentless overthinking that often strikes at night. Have you ever found yourself wide awake at 2:03am, replaying every email and conversation in your mind? If so, you're not alone. Cheryl explores why our brains tend to engage in these mental marathons when we should be resting, revealing that it’s a natural response of our nervous system under prolonged stress.

She emphasises that experiencing this cycle does not indicate weakness or failure; rather, it’s a sign that your nervous system is attempting to regain control. Cheryl discusses the fine line between reflection and rumination, illustrating how the latter can trap us in a loop of anxiety and self-blame. Instead of trying to solve everything in the dead of night, she introduces a practical three-step approach: Name it, Anchor it, Park it. This method allows you to acknowledge your feelings without being overwhelmed by them, fostering a sense of safety and clarity.

As she guides listeners through this technique, Cheryl reinforces the importance of establishing boundaries between work and rest, encouraging a mindset shift that prioritises recovery over relentless productivity. This episode is a comforting reminder that you deserve to rest, even when your mind insists on working overtime.

If you find yourself battling late-night work anxiety, this episode is a must-listen. Join us as we uncover strategies to reclaim your peace and embrace the restorative power of sleep.

If you found value in this episode, please follow Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW and share it with someone who might benefit from these insights. Your journey towards balance begins with the smallest of steps.

The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers

Transcript

Speaker 0: 0:37

Hi, I'm Cheryl and this is Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW. Welcome if you're new here. Today we're talking about Work Anxiety and Overthinking at Night, which I often do. Otherwise known as that deeply irritating moment when you're in bed and your phone is face down, the house is quiet and your brain decides now is a really good time to open a full internal

investigation into that email you sent yesterday at 03: 1:15

47PM. Lovely. Lovely. Lovely. Because apparently sleep is optional, but replaying the exact tone of kind regards is somehow urgent.

And if you've ever woken up at 02: 1:35

03AM thinking did I say something wrong? Did I miss something important? Is this person annoyed with me? Why can't I just switch off? Then this episode is you. And before we go any further, let's make something very clear. You are not weak. You are not broken. You're not failing at being calm. The thing is your Nervous System is doing what nervous systems are supposed to do when they've been under pressure for far too long. It scans, it rehearses, it predicts, it tries to regain control. Unfortunately, it

Speaker 1: 2:29

often chooses the worst possible time to do it because your Nervous System, believe it or not, has no respect for business hours. So today, we're going

Speaker 0: 2:42

to look at why Work Anxiety gets louder at night,

Speaker 1: 2:47

why Overthinking can feel like responsibility in disguise and more importantly, what you can do instead of trying to resolve your entire work life under your due bay. Okay? Now,

Speaker 0: 3:08

let's just keep it to the point, because if you're tired and wired, you don't need a 12 module training program

Speaker 1: 3:17

for your brain at midnight. You just need something you can actually remember.

I kinda know the 02: 3:24

03AM brain. I know the version of your mind that suddenly becomes incredibly productive at the least helpful time of day. The 1 that starts preparing imaginary conversations, you know, the 1 that drafts emails you absolutely are not going to send, you know, the 1

Speaker 0: 3:50

that replays something you said in a meeting

Speaker 1: 3:53

and then cross examines you like you committed treason and I've done it myself, I've

Speaker 0: 4:01

done

Speaker 1: 4:02

that thing where you're there thinking, lying there thinking, right, I just need to work this out so that I can relax And then the thing is, you don't relax. You become even more awake, more tense and even more convinced that you should be doing something, which sometimes feels quite

ridiculous, doesn't it? Because it's like 02: 4:25

03 a. M. So let's see what we can do, and yet, we're in that situation where your mind behaves as though this is the most important decision that you need to make. That is not the moment to handle things I don't believe. This is why, I think for so many women, especially High Functioning Women, where we get caught out because Overthinking feels often as like we're being the responsible 1. It feels as though you're being thorough. If you're

Speaker 0: 5:03

like me, I like being thorough.

Speaker 1: 5:05

It feels like you're staying ahead of things. It feels like you think you're thinking hard enough and long enough, and you might actually prepare something from actually going wrong. And that's the trap. That's the trap we all fall into because Work Anxiety often disguises itself as preparation. It says, if you replay the conversation just 1 more time, you'll be safe, Or if you stay alert, nothing can catch you out, no siree. But the body experiences that, all those feelings, as a threat. So while part of you thinks, I am just thinking this through, your Nervous System hears danger or something's wrong, so you need to stay awake. It's almost like you're stuck in this loop. You're exhausted, but you're alert. You're tired, but you're wired. You're desperate to sleep, but mentally, you're chairing a meeting nobody asks for. And that's the really painful bit because then you start kind of blaming yourself for things. I should be better at coping, you say to yourself. No. Let's not do that. Shame is not a sleep aid. If shame worked, half this country would be peaceful, peacefully

unconscious at 9, what, 09: 6:39

30PM? What's happening here is not a character flaw, it's a kind of pattern that you've kind of got yourself into. Your mind is trying to close, your body is trying to detect risk, your Nervous System is trying to do what it's supposed to do, which is protect you. The problem is it's confused Reflection with Rumination. The thing is, the way that I see it, Reflection helps you learn, but Rumination keeps you in that perpetual trap. Reflection says, what happened, what matters, and what we can do next? While Rumination says, let's replay this from 17 different angles until your jaw hurts. Very different experiences. But the thing is, 1 actually creates clarity, while the other 1 creates some sort of mental courtroom.

Speaker 0: 7:39

So what do we do with all of this?

Speaker 1: Well, first, we need to stop treating that 02: 7:42

03 a. M. Spiral as a problem to solve with more thinking. More thinking isn't gonna cull it, I'm afraid. More thinking is like petrol, being petrol on a fire, especially at night, especially when you're tired, your brain is not at its best for complex problem solving, it just ain't. It means the time is poor, there may be real issues at work, there may be unclear expectations, too much demand, weak boundaries, difficult relationships, and yes, those things do

matter, but lying there at 02: 8:24

03AM is usually not where those things get properly resolved. If anything, they get magnified. A small uncertainty somehow becomes a catastrophe. An awkward conversation becomes evidence that you've ruined your day or your work life. Very traumatic, very convincing, but not very helpful, in fact, very unhelpful. So the first shift, I think, should be you don't have to believe every story that your brain tells you at night. You can respect the signal without obeying the spiral. You can respect it, and you can make a very, what I would say, important distinction. Something in me feels unsettled. I listened rather than I must now mentally solve everything right now. We're not gonna do that. We're going to do calm first.

So here is your 02: 9:35

03AM night shift reset. You can use this if you wake up at night or any time where you're just lying there and you're unable to switch off from work. What I would like you to do is I put it in 3 parts, name it, anchor it, park it. So step 1, name it. You can quietly say to yourself or even out loud, I like saying things out loud because I'm a bit weird, but you can say it quietly, This is a Nervous System moment. Not, I'm being ridiculous, here we go again, what's wrong with me? No, just, This is a Nervous System moment. Now the thing is, that 1 sentence matters because it moves you out of self blame into a position of observation. You are not the problem, you're just noticing. You're just noticing. Step number 2, anchor it. Bring your attention to your body.

Speaker 0: 10:48

You can keep your eyes open or closed, whatever's easiest for you, because you're in control, and place 1 hand on your chest or on your stomach

Speaker 1: 10:57

where it feels comfortable, and then take 5 long, slow, deep exhales. 5 long, slow, deep exhales, not dramatic breathing, just inhale gently, exhale for a little longer, that's right, and do it 5 times. And as you do that, you can let your shoulders drop, That's right. 1 centimeter will do it, and the Nervous System learns through that small signal that there's safety there. That's right. Now part 3, park it. Now say to yourself, not now. I will look at this in daylight. That's right. Not now. I will look at this in daylight. And if you want to, keep a notebook nearby and write that 1 sentence, that 1 line, I will deal with this tomorrow, just 1 line, you know, no big thing, just 1 line. For example, I'll clarify that deadline with my manager, I'll check the actual facts about the meeting, then close the notebook and that will tell your brain, actually, I have captured that signal, you don't need to keep shouting, because that's all your Nervous System is saying to you. It's just signaling something to you and you've given it the requisite time, the requisite attention, and it can safely now go back to being observant.

But it gives your Nervous System a repeatable pattern: 12:52

name it, anchor it, park it. And that repeated pattern builds familiarity. Familiarity builds safety. Safety creates more choices, and that's how it works. So now, a quick distinction that matters is something like relief and restoration. Okay, now relief and restoration are not the same thing. Relief is when the spiral drops by, I don't know, 5%, whereas restoration is where your system starts trusting that it doesn't have to stay on alert all night. So I suppose it's like a relief versus restoration moment, where relief might be, okay, I'm still awake, but I don't have to panic here. And that counts. Restoration is built over time, and like I said, through repetition, creating clearer boundaries, clearer work patterns for yourself, better support, maybe learning how to stop turning your bedroom into a boardroom, okay? We're not aiming for perfection here, not at all. What we're doing is we're aiming for a Nervous System that starts to realize that the bedroom is where rest happens, and it can say to itself, I can rest now and I can deal with work in work time. Now, that's not laziness. To me, that's recovery. So here's what I want you to take away from this episode if you take away anything, is that your brain doesn't start doing night

shifts at 02: 14:59

03AM, okay? And if it does, it doesn't mean that you're fanning, it just means that your system is trying to create safety for you through control. And the problem is that Rumination doesn't create safety, it creates more activation in your brain. So tonight, if Work Anxiety starts looping, don't argue with it for 3 hours, okay? Tryna control it. Name it, anchor it, park it. Name it, this is a Nervous System moment, anchor it 5 long, slow, deep breaths, park it. Not now, I'll look at you in daylight because you're allowed to rest before everything is resolved, You are allowed to put work down, and

Speaker 0: 15:59

you are allowed to stop

Speaker 1: 16:00

treating exhaustion

Speaker 0: 16:02

as evidence that you care. Okay. So if this episode has helped you in any way, please follow the podcast. The link is in the show notes. Following the podcast helps you find the next episode. Really easy. And, you know the reason why I do this podcast is that I want to help women deal with Work Anxiety, overwhelm and stress. So I just want to say thank you for listening to Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW. I'm Cheryl and this is your reminder that you don't have to solve your entire life in the dark. Remember every step you take no matter how small is a step towards a brighter, more balanced future. So trust in your journey and remember progress is progress no matter the pace. Bye for now.