Too soft? Try me! From Tense Meetings To Clear Conversations

A tight stomach, a tense smile, a room that braces before anyone speaks—work stress shows up fast and steals clarity even faster. We walk you through a simple, evidence-aligned way to change the room without a speech: set your state first, then let your words follow. This is not about pretending stress away; it’s about using physiology to send a cleaner signal so conversations land and calendars lighten.

We start with the cost of waiting for others to set the tone and move to a single, testable lever: state. You’ll hear how breath with a longer exhale calms your system, why softening the jaw and rolling the shoulders back reduces perceived threat, and how widening your eyes to engage peripheral vision opens attention. From there, we channel that steadiness into language with one anchor word—clear, curious, warm, steady, or playful—and a grounded opening line such as, “What would make this useful?” The result is fewer misunderstandings, less back-channel drama, and less rework after the meeting.

Along the way, we explain the mirroring effect: people match pace, tone, and posture instinctively. When you brace, the room tightens; when you loosen, others can think and listen. The 60-second door-to-desk reset is designed for fluorescent-light reality, not retreats. Try it once, in one meeting, and observe without judgment what changes—tone, time saved, or outcomes that actually stick. And if you feel unsafe or overwhelmed, don’t white-knuckle it; reach out to your GP, organizational support, or a qualified professional.

If this helped, follow the show, share it with a colleague who dreads review days, and leave a quick rating. Tell us your one word before your next meeting and what shifted for you.

The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers

Chapters

• 0:47 Fast Stress Reset Promise
• 1:12 Proof Over Fluff
• 1:32 The State Lever
• 2:30 Why Humans Mirror
• 3:50 The 60-Second Door-To-Desk Reset
• 5:45 Safety, Support, Next Steps

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:27

This is ABGW. Amazing, brilliant, gorgeous, wonderful. Five minutes to reset work stress with me, Cheryl Paris. We keep it human, practical, and a little wiry, but take what helps and leave the rest. If you ever thought, lovely idea, Cheryl, but this all seems a bit fluffy. Well, you're not wrong to want proof. You're busy, right? You need something that works under the fluorescent lights. So picture this. It's Tuesday morning, a performance review morning, email dread, stomach feels like someone's punched it. I used to walk in braced, smiling too hard, hoping that the other person would set the tone, and they didn't. I learned the hard way that waiting is still a decision. It's a decision. So I tested one lever only state. No speeches, just physiology. I arrived, feet planted, breathing longer on the out. I softened my jaw, I rolled back my shoulders, chose one word clear, and opened with. Small move, big, big ripples. You see, the thing is, us humans, we mirror. We think pace, we think tone, we think posture. And that's not soft, that's actually biologically what we're designed to do. You know it yourself. Your state leaks out before your words arrive. Which is why rooms brace when you brace and loosen when you loosen. Want tangible, clearer meetings, cleaner meetings, fewer misunderstandings, less back channel theater. And the thing is, and one of the things I really enjoy is that you might not even notice applause, but you will notice less reworking. Your calendar becomes lighter because conversations land cleaner when you have cleaner language in what you say and how you present yourself. Okay, so let's choose state as a single leverage today, and if this helps, I'd like you to try this 60 second door-to-desk reset. Okay, notice both the feet. Inhale quietly, exhale twice as long, and repeat that three times. Inhale quietly, exhale twice as long. Sense shoulders dropping, jaw softening, eyes widening a fraction, so you take in more of your peripheral vision. Choose one word for this meeting. Curious, clear, warm, steady, playful, open with one real line. What would make this useful? You can turn the intensity down first if you want to, and then you can always turn it back up later. The thing is, it's your choice. Script to prove control today. I've got 20 minutes. What outcome would be genuinely useful for you? Put it on, put it in that one meeting and notice what changes. Notice. Not making judgments, just being aware. Tomorrow, I won't remember this. There's no time. You've heard that saying. We'll build the habit inside that chaos. Now, if you feel unsafe or overwhelmed, please don't white knuckle it. Speak to your GP or your organization support or a qualified professional like myself. Because every step you take, no matter how small, is a step towards a brighter, more balanced future. Trust in your journey and remember progress is progress no matter the pace. Bye for now.